Worry
by masterctarl
Summary: MGS4 Otacon finally confronts Snake about his smoking problem. Post-Naomi's death. SLASH Snake/Otacon. Rated for slash and smoking. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Metal Gear Solid or any of the characters or places associated with it. Please don't sue me.**

**Note:** This goes in MGS4 right after Naomi dies, when they think Raiden is dead as well. I know there's a little bit of continuity error, but it's miniscule at best and this is just a fanfic so honestly it shouldn't be a big deal anyway.

**Warnings:** **Fluffy, fluffy goodness between Snake and Otacon. Slash ahead. You've been warned, so I don't want to be hearing any flames.**

**Worry**

For Hal Emmerich, worrying was a constant state of being. He worried about everything. Whenever Snake went on a mission Hal could tear his hair out with worry. But he learned years ago that worrying not only did nothing to help, but also caused his partner no small amount of frustration. So Hal did everything in his limited power to hide it whenever the worry started to bubble up from within him.

But this… this was different. Snake's rapid aging took more and more of a toll everyday. The cigarettes weren't helping either. Sunny was the only one brave enough to actively rip a cigarette from Snake's mouth and stomp on it where he could see. For a little girl, she had a lot of brass.

Otacon himself couldn't even work up the courage to simply ask Snake to stop. For Dave, smoking was life itself. Now all of those years of sucking nicotine was catching up, however. Hal, who warned him about smoking since they first started working together, wanted to say 'I told you so'. But whenever snake started coughing violently… the urge just melted away.

Now Hal looked over his shoulder. Snake sat on the couch on the other side of the hanger, coughing yet again. A cigarette was clutched between his fingers like a lifeline. Hal finally couldn't take it anymore. The files he was downloading would take a few minutes, so he decided he had time for a long overdue discussion.

So he walked over to the couch, sitting down. He waited until Snake was done coughing. "Snake, can we talk?"

"I don't want to hear it, Otacon," Snake growled. He coughed a couple of times, then put the cigarette in his mouth like nothing happened.

"Snake, please listen," Hal tried again.

"I said no," the old soldier glowered at him.

"Snake…" Hal did the dumbest thing since he built Rex. He took the cigarette from Snake's lips.

"Give it back," Snake growled warningly.

"No," Hal simply said. "Not until you listen."

"Otacon-!"

"Dave!" Snake stopped. When his real name was used, Hal was serious. "Look at yourself! You're already standing with one foot in the grave! It's bad enough you go saving the world like this! But this-!" He held up the cigarette.

"You just said it yourself," Snake sighed, giving in. "I've got one foot in the grave. I'm as good as dead in a couple of months. What's one more week?"

"A lot to me!" Hal said desperately. There was a moment of silence. "Don't you get it? Everyone's gone, Snake! First Sniper Wolf, then Emma! Now Naomi and Raiden are dead! I can't lose you too, Dave!" He took a deep breath, stubbing the cigarette out in the ashtray. "You can Sunny are all I have left… I can't lose you…"

Snake was at a loss for words. He just put a hand on Hal's shoulder. "You know that it can't last forever. I have to die to end all of this. I just have to kill Liquid first."

"I know…" Hal said, his voice muffled by his hands. "I just… it's not fair… everyone is leaving me…"

"It's not… _so_ bad," Snake said awkwardly. "You'll still have Sunny."

"I know, and I'm grateful," Hal muttered. "But… but it's not the same. I want _you_, Snake."

The soldier raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure you said that quite right."

Hal paused for a moment. "No. No, I did say it right. I meant it exactly how it came out. I did love Sniper Wolf. She was wonderful. But she's been gone for nine years. And every time I tried to think of moving on… I thought of you. But… after losing Emma I was scared of telling you. Everyone I loved kept dying. I thought if I acknowledged how I felt about you, then I'd lose you too." He took a deep breath. "So I just… never said anything and you never left me. But… but now I'm gong to lose you anyway…" He made a slight whimpering sound.

"Otacon, I…" Snake started. He was going to tell him that he wasn't that way. He didn't feel that way about him. 'Oh, what the hell?' he asked himself. 'I'm dying in a couple of months anyway. And so far all of the girls in my life look at me like a pitiful leper.' So he put a hand on Hal's head and gently leaned him into his shoulder. "I'm not dead yet…"

Hal didn't say anything. He instead dug his face into Snake's shoulder and sobbed. He felt embarrassed after the whole 'I'm not going to cry anymore' speech. But Snake remained silent as well, just letting him get it all out.

They stayed that way for a few minutes before Hal was finished. Then they just… sat like that. Snake felt a bit awkward. Other men weren't his choice of expertise. Hal seemed perfectly comfortable, though.

"…Snake?" he said gently after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"I… I know with Naomi and Meryl…" he seemed to be struggling with his words. "I know they treated you different because of you… condition. I just want you to know that I've never thought differently about you. Not when you got older, and not when…" Instead of saying it, he reached up and gently touched the burn on the left side of his partner's face. Snake sighed and placed his own hand on Hal's. He didn't notice how warm it was before. He figured it was because he'd never made an effort.

Snake had always made an effort toward girls, especially pretty ones, or ones with huge breasts. But Otacon was… different. They clicked like two pieces of the same puzzle as soon as Snake had pulled him out of that locker nine years ago. Ever since then they were almost inseparable. Snake kicked himself for missing all of the signs over the years. The constant worrying, the way Hal would try to be close as much as possible, every innocent touch and word. He had to rethink it all. And doing so, he realized how _obvious _it had been.

Thinking more recently, Hal was right. He never treated him like a different person. Naomi had recoiled from the now aged state his body was in. Meryl treated him like an outdated war veteran. But Otacon? Sure he worried and fretted over him. But that was part of who he was. And as soon as Snake was on a mission, he could still trust him to put his fears behind him and be there to help.

"…I'm sorry…" Hal suddenly said. Snake blinked and looked down at him. The former otaku looked almost… miserable. "I… I'm being selfish."

There was a twinge somewhere inside of Snake when he looked at that pout. At those sad eyes behind the glasses. He was glad Otacon had decided to wear his glasses again after Naomi died. He just wasn't Otacon without them. Sure, he was still Hal. But there was a difference only Snake could see.

"Nah, it's fine," Snake assured him. "I just… honestly don't know what you want me to do. I mean… I can't say I've ever really thought of guys before."

Hal developed a look somewhere akin to being punched in the stomach. "I… I get it…" he pushed himself off of his position he'd developed with Dave. "I-I'll get back to work…"

"Otacon," Snake wanted to kick himself, standing up after him. "That's not what I meant. You're… different."

"But you seem so uncomfortable," Hal said, looking at the floor.

"That's the thing. I _want_ to feel comfortable with you," Snake fumbled with his words. He then sighed. "_This_ is what I meant. With women I know all the right things to say and do. But… I have no idea with you."

Hal looked at him and chuckled. He then leaned up and kissed Snake on the cheek, smiling coyly. "Sure you do. You've been doing it for nine years. You just didn't know it."


End file.
